nonsensical ramblings
(an interview with myself a.k.a. justifying myself to a cynical planet)

god, don't you ever shut up?  what about this vikki person??
vikki appeared by accident, really.  it's not like i found her in a cereal packet or anything but, let's just say i wasn't looking for anyone to join my little party just yet.  but, when you find the right person to gatecrash, i guess you just let them on in!  so, in she is and, as a result, does the bass stuff and helps run the record company and get this crazy little world out to your crazy little world...

as it happens, we are now expanding our horizons and have started a search for others to join in the fun.  the music has a strange theatrical presence to it and i am itching to perform it (as is vikki).  with technology as it is these days, we could get it out there right now, with the help of a computer or two but i would really like a fully functioning band, if only to see the look on an audience's face when we storm the stage!

which reminds me, why do you and vikki look the way you do??"
well, i would love to claim it is all some form of huge marketing exercise designed to make us easily identifiable in an already overcrowded market but, truth be told, it's just the way we look.  that's why i grabbed onto the vikkstar when she appeared as there aren't too many of us around.  let's face it, most of the people around these days are soooo easily categorised and all look the bloody same.  alternative??  i think some of them should go look that word up in the dictionary before using it as a descriptive tool.  fucks me off.  it's all so fucking corporate.  snigger at me, punk? you may think we look like assholes but, it could be worse.  we could look like you.

calm down, calm down!  grab a few prozac and explain yourself!
grrrr.  glad to get that off my chest.  individuality is a strange concept and one that most don't understand.  i am not striving for individuality, i just am.  not by design but by default.  and, when this spitball turns into a fully-fledged global globule, there will be thousands of spitettes running around all over the place and I will no longer be "individual".  but, i will be loaded, so that will help ease the pain.

so, if you are not currently playing live, why the hell should i be into you?
hey, in case you hadn't noticed, there's been a small invention called the internet.  the biggest band in the world isn't playing to 99.99% of their fans 99.99% of the time, so we aren't much different than that.  if you live in bumfuck, arkansas and we're playing in london, it makes no difference, right??  right!  fact is, we write fucking great music and we aren't put together by a bunch of record company execs, managers and lawyers.  we are the musical truth and don't you forget it.  besides, until the day comes when i can find 2 or 3 other equally reprehensible human beings to wreak havoc with, i will not dilute this with mediocrate.  spit like this is musical theatre.  it's visual as well as audible.  there is enough for us to be getting on with and bombarding you with at the moment!

so, are you telling me you don't want to play live??
you don't pay attention, do you sparky?!!  if some big-boy record company want to come along and give us mucho moolah, without fucking with the point, great!  we'll release the records on a massive scale and have the means to tour and, you know what, i can't wait!  but, in the meantime, we're a cottage industry putting in 110% to get anything we can out to you, the people who think that jack daniels on your cornflakes is a good idea and who think that being 14 running around in a slipknot baggy is, in fact, just a little bit sad.  

makes sense.  better than sitting around on your (perfectly formed) butt, I guess!
yep.  baby steps, that's what it's all about.  hey, if you've gotten this far, you must be a little bit interested.  and, who knows, you may tell a friend.  they may tell a couple more and, next thing you know, our little army has grown and the record companies will no longer be able to ignore us.  it's how waco started, dontcha know??!  

look, spit like this is more than just music.  it's an attitude.  a lifestyle.  a way of life.  it's how i live today right now.  i'm not going to cut my hair, wear a suit, do 9-5 until this music thing takes off, because that isn't me.  i don't want a back-up plan.  i'll leave that for the pretenders.  and i hate pretenders.  if you're one of them, leave now.  i'm not interested.  but, if you live your life for you, exactly how you want to live it, then stay. you're one of us.  and, i tell ya, i'm gonna hit the ground running, win or lose, and fight for every single one of us that needs to escape the rat race.  that's why we have the mailing list - to keep in touch with our new friends and comrades.  that's why we call it s.l.u.t. - spitting like u too - because we know that there are a whole bundle of souls with no voice who are just as disgusted and want to do something about it!!

something tells me you're a bit of a control freak?  are these rumours true??!
hmm, tough one that...  of course i am.  i'm not the kind of guy to take it up the butt for mr a&r executive; i'm not going to be told what songs to sing, what clothes to wear and what logo should be on my cd. this is my music.  just so happens i want to share it with the world, nice guy that i am.  but, in doing so, i need to represent me, not a diluted marketed to death version of me, but me, warts 'n' all.  that's why i design the logos.  that's why i write this site.  that's why i produce the music, take the photos, create the cd artwork and do just about anything else you can think of.  you might not like it, which is aok.  i would rather you hated me for who i truly am than like a sanitized version of me.  and, if you actually think (as i do) that, in fact, the world does revolve around me, that's fantastic!  at least then i know that it is me that you love, and not a "safe for the kids" version of me.

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